statemints

NEWS RELEASE THINGY

4 Immediate Releases

We doggos r mobilizing to Save Hoomans

Pleze Read. Good Hooman.

CHICAGO – Da doggos r mobilizing to Save Da Hoomans from sickies because we need em to live longest, happiest lives with us.

We will be sheering all da reasons to Save Da Hoomans on billboardz and tranzit ads and social media thingies to try to reach da hoomans.  Hoomans need to sign ups for this free mobile thingy to help find curez.

“We muzt save em,” said Lola The Weather Beagle, doggie of ABC7 weather hooman Cheryl Scott. “They take me for long walkz in da parks. They gives me cuddlings. All doggos need r hoomans.”

At least half da homes in U.S. hav pets. We r a strong communitie that cares for hoomans

Science can help sniff out answerz to our hoomans’ health problemz. Just need our hoomans to know how to do da science thingies. Smart ppl from university places r making it easy for our hoomans to join.

Tell ur hooman: science shows walkies in nature r good for der brainsz.

Time with us petz lessens der stress.

Vitamin D might help fight off da icky COVID thingy.

Tell ur hooman to listen to uz @SaveDaHoomans and leed em to sign ups at SaveDaHoomans.org.

Hoomans issued der own statemints cuz they has thumbs and can type easier dan us. Read it heres.

Media Contactaroo:

lola@savedahoomans.org